However, there is one problem. She seems keen on it. Dear Prudie, My girlfriend is a beautiful, funny and intelligent young woman and I’m very lucky to have her in my life. She tries to convince her mother that this is for the best. Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. I'd be lying to myself, but, most importantly, I'd be lying to others. My girlfriend wants me to convert to Islam Dear Counselor, I am in love with a very woman who has all the qualities I have always dreamt of and I always feel that I hit a jackpot with her. How to Treat a Spouse in a Marital Separation . Funky Lilith. I am a 19 year old Irish catholic brought up by a very religious family but myself am not entirely convinced by the concept of religion. However, we're at a point (1.5 years into the relationship) where it could only continue if I converted to Islam for us to get married. My Girlfriend Worships The Devil @Hodgetwins - Duration: 6:59. Should I Convert To Islam. She doesn't dedicate her life to religion either and spends most of her Friday evenings eating BBQ with myself and my family. Sie können Ihre Einstellungen jederzeit ändern. I want my children to share the same religious beliefs as me and for that to happen the wife needs to share them aswell. If you are ready to convert to Islam to keep the relationship, then go ahead and do so. I for instance come from a rather religious European country. One thing that is very clear is; is that it's forbidden for a male Muslim to have a girlfriend, as it is forbidden for a female Muslim to have a boyfriend. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is … If someone is pressuring you to convert to Islam—for example a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend, remind him or her that according to Islamic law, a conversion without inner conviction is morally meaningless and religiously invalid. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid. How can I even make that decision for myself at 20 years old? Relevance. Now if he had not done so, I still would have married him bc I love him. I have only met her sister, but none of her other family. If I were them, I may take that as an insult to the religion. Second, I think you are both putting the cart before the horse. I am 26 years old and a only child. If this woman wants convert to Islam, let her do so on her own. And also, please talk with her about some point of friction which might occur in the future, just to be sure you agree on things. I know I will shock people but when they had a son, I told my sister I prefered he was circumcised. Daten über Ihr Gerät und Ihre Internetverbindung, darunter Ihre IP-Adresse, Such- und Browsingaktivität bei Ihrer Nutzung der Websites und Apps von Verizon Media. How can I get my girlfriend or boyfriend to convert to Christianity? I can't move in with her unless we were married. Converting a Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Christianity. However, we're at a point (1.5 years into the relationship) where it could only continue if I converted to Islam for us to get married. My girlfriend isn't happy with that and has implied that our relationship would have to end if I didn't convert. The rules of the religion do not allow any marriage unless the man agrees to convert to Islam. It worked for my relationship, my husband converted for me. Although I do not believe in God, I am interested in learning more about Islam, especially given that it represents a large part of my girlfriend's life. You would probably have to learn to pray and at least look like you know what you're doing/talking about when with them. The problem is that we are in love, however there is a law in Islam that she isn’t allowed to marry me as I am not muslim. I told my parents and they totally flipped out. I personally don’t respect any man who gives up their religion for a woman. You need to have a conversation about whether the relationship survives in that scenario before you move forward. We have been dating for over 2 years and so far respected each other's beliefs. Demands to convert to Islam. I agree!!! My girlfriend is a Malaysian Muslim and I am catholic, not very devout if i’m honest but I do have my own beliefs. From my experience in dating conservative culture family is YOU shouldn't be changing yourself for anyone. She's never expressed any religious views before. My Girlfriend Worships The Devil @Hodgetwins - Duration: 6:59. We just don't care now about his faith. How to Calculate the Dowry for an Islamic Marriage . However, we both knew from the start that it would be almost impossible for us to be together and have normal life (marriage, kids etc) without me being a Muslim. There are varieties that are as liberal as Christian Unitarians or Quakers. Why should a Muslim ask an American to convert to Islam? I'd be lying to myself, but, most importantly, I'd be lying to others. Monika has converted to Islam. She believes religion to be a personal enterprise, so what rules she follows do not apply to me. As someone who came from a Christian background and is now an atheist, I don't really see a reason why. Dr. Haitham al-Haddad - Duration: 6:45. If any of you have any positive to say, I'd love to hear it. Therefore she will also have that in mind from an early stage. - Q&A - Sh. There is no compulsion in Islam and YOU should know that. I assume you, as an extension of this, also do not believe in the other major tenets of this faith. Does the Bible say anything about how to convert a boyfriend or girlfriend to the faith? Should I dump my girlfriend for converting to Islam? Wir und unsere Partner nutzen Cookies und ähnliche Technik, um Daten auf Ihrem Gerät zu speichern und/oder darauf zuzugreifen, für folgende Zwecke: um personalisierte Werbung und Inhalte zu zeigen, zur Messung von Anzeigen und Inhalten, um mehr über die Zielgruppe zu erfahren sowie für die Entwicklung von Produkten. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. I don't agree with most people here telling you to move on from her. Tell her this, if you are willing then no one can do anything. If you give in here, this won't be the last time her and her family get in the middle of your relationship. anyway, hope you can really look into Islam first, but dont convert just because she asked you too or just because you like her, remeber you have to actually believe what the Qur'an says and it will stay with you for the rest of your life. Hello, I’m a catholic girl wanting to convert to Islam. Do you ever think what will happen to you when you die? A Muslim girl will usually have marriage in mind as an endgame from an early stage. But it made it so much easier for my family because they felt like the union was accepted in the eyes of God. I respect those who try to integrate to cultures or religions and be tolerant. Think of it in the family's shoes. You will never be officially married in their eyes if you don’t convert though. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid. First of all it seems a bit disrespectful.. Yeah, the other scenario I outlined above seems a bit disrespectful too, but this even more so.. And.. Because of my respect for Islam and for my girlfriend's family, I find it difficult to convert to Islam insincerely. Popular Post. Please don’t judge me, however I’m uneducated on the religion so I need guidance. and. It depends on how much you want to be with her. What Do I Do if I Break My Girlfriend's Trust? العربية ar. My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. Well if you want to be with her, then convert. That's what would be running through my head if I had to make a decision like this. You can convert for marriage and then go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing. I got reverted to islam when my girlfriend did not got agree to marry me since I was non-muslim. Showing posts with label should i convert to islam for my girlfriend. Answer Save. Because of my respect for Islam and for my girlfriend's family, I find it difficult to convert to Islam insincerely. How did you face it? Funky Lilith. Now if he had not done so, I still would have married him bc I love him. I have had two girlfriends both of who were Muslims (from different sectors) . If it were only up to my significant other, conversion would be unnecessary. In other words, I feel as though converting to Islam without believing in God would be disrespectful. We have been having a 'clean' relationship now for about ten years and now we are thinking of getting married. However, both her parents and mine are giving us a lot of pressure and she also refused to convert to Islam. Her family was actually much less conservative than your girlfriend's family. My girlfriend is muslim and while not a devout believer it is still a large part of her life, especially with her family relationships. If you care so much about being a good Muslim, then marry a Muslim. Personally, I wouldn't have too much difficulty following some rules Islam advocates, such as eating Halal, remaining sober, etc. You're basically try to use a loophole to be with her, where you really don't truly care about your standpoint. I don't have any problem following rules, or behaving a certain way to adapt to a culture. But is it a dumpable offence? Kamalrukh Khan, a Parsi by faith, had married her college sweetheart Wajid Khan after 10 years of courtship. If you base a huge part of your marriage on a lie you are putting a curse on yourself. They had no problem with us dating publicly and I was included in many family events, but with the understanding that we would eventually get married and I would at least convert as a formality. TLDR; To marry my girlfriend and have kids with her without alienating her from her family I need to convert to Islam. Favourite answer. The rules of the religion do not allow any marriage unless the man agrees to convert to Islam. Btw we've been married for 2 years, together for 5. Don't convert but keep showing respect and curiosity for her culture. The Vows in an Islamic Ceremony . What it’s like to convert to Islam for the man you love. Because it's true. My sister had the same dilemma because she fell in love with an atheist. I’ve had 8 sexual partners, I lie, drink, smoke. I'm agnostic, and it doesn't sit well with me. A day after the wife of late music director Wajid Khan took to Twitter to narrate her ordeal in an inter-faith marriage, she has now spoken in details about the ill-treatment meted out to her by her in-laws and husband for not converting to Islam. I suppose that does limit you from starting a bacon flavored whiskey company, since they'd find out about that, but it's not like her family is going to force you to wear a body cam so they can monitor you 24/7 to make sure you're really following everything. You must also keep in mind that in Islam, it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. I don't force him to go to anything he doesnt want to. It's been 2 years I've been pondering this matter. Would they care? Older Posts Home. Heck, a lot of Muslim people make exceptions and pick and choose what they practice, so again it has more to do with how her family practices the religion and what they expect of you than for you to go all out and follow something that they don't even bother with (and you need to pick the right sect of Islam, or you might end up just pissing them off, think about it if your family is Baptist and your GF learns a bunch of Catholic stuff trying to fit in with them). Español es. I suppose we could consider my religious insincerity a sacrifice in some sorts to make this relationship work. She never really informed me of how serious it was until recently and its all come at once, how on earth was I supposed to know!? I consider myself somewhere between agnostic and atheist. Good luck, my friend. As-Salamu `alaykum. So much less stress on us because of it. I do have a problem with doing this in a disingenuous fashion. I'm not happy about her being an islamist. You converted to Islam to be with their daughter. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom) Blog Archive. Like, they would know that you didn't come from a Muslim background, so it would actually be pretty strange if you got all of it right the first time you met them. I can't move in with her unless we were married. She confirms that she would have no problem with me converting whilst remaining atheist, given that it's the only way to further our relationship. The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. I am a Muslim living in Canada and I have a Christian girlfriend. If so, I would say that's a horrible idea. Converting to Islam is easy. Für nähere Informationen zur Nutzung Ihrer Daten lesen Sie bitte unsere Datenschutzerklärung und Cookie-Richtlinie. Islam Radical. She seems keen on it. She'd be even worse off. My girlfriend is a 24 year old Muslim and we are in love with each other, that much I do know because I have never felt like this before about someone. It would be insulting to convert, but if her family come to see that you are in no way restricting their daughter from being muslim and simultaneously educating yourself and respecting their religious customs they may come to accept it. This website is for people of various faiths who seek to understand Islam and Muslims. However, this doesn't change the fact that I love her now, and I'd like to be with her if possible. I am posting this in order to gain people's point of views and opinion on the matter. Before you ask, I know even if this doesn't work out, I will find another woman and live a happy life. She tries to convince her mother that this is for the best. My girlfriend is a 24 year old Muslim and we are in love with each other, that much I do know because I have never felt like this before about someone. We have been dating for over 2 years and so far respected each other's beliefs. Alcohol for example. I'm not happy about her being an islamist. Like, you probably don't need to study to be an Imam to convince her family that you believe and take it seriously. Tell them about your intentions, that you love her, that you will take care of her. My Muslim girlfriend will convert out of Islam to be with me. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Rationally, we'd both like to further our relationship. However, we both knew from the start that it would be almost impossible for us to be together and have normal life (marriage, kids etc) without me being a Muslim. Move on. respectful of you, attracted, in love) around you from now on. I consider myself somewhere between agnostic and atheist. I am arabic, and so is my family. 20274 Publication : 03-07-2004 Views : 38541 en. It worked for my relationship, my husband converted for me. Dear brother, how many years you will live in this world? She is of Muslim faith. What was the result? Have any of you been through this peculiar dilemma? But it made it so much easier for my family because they felt like the union was accepted in the eyes of God. You may find that ur gf is freaking out too much about their reaction and it wont be as bad as she suspects. If you convert, you are signing away your right to stand against absolutely anything Islamic, no matter how morally wrong, and your right to stand for absolutely anything un-Islamic, no matter how morally respectable. Beware though, some points might arise where you won't agree. It's a bad decision for you and frankly insulting to the religious group. I consider myself an open, understanding person. No one put a gun to your head and tells you to pray a certain way. She never really informed me of how serious it was until recently and its all come at once, how on earth was I supposed to know!? One thing that is very clear is; is that it's forbidden for a male Muslim to have a girlfriend, as it is forbidden for a female Muslim to have a boyfriend. Islamic Girls Name. From Darkness to Light. But she is sure that I am the one, and I am sure she is the one. If they only want you to do this for appearances, and there is an understanding that you're actually an atheist and do not believe.. then.. yeah maybe this would work? TLDR; To marry my girlfriend and have kids with her without alienating her from her family I need to convert to Islam. Her faith is clearly important for her, but she definitely practices it in a less conservative fashion (does not wear headscarf for instance) than some others might. If she doesn't want to force you to do anything,but it seems like it's out of her hands, just do it so you can get married. Like, you're talking about eating halal and not drinking and trying to do things that you may not need to do, but your GF is fine with you believing and doing what you will and it doesn't sound like you'll have to follow any of that when you're not around her family. You probably forget about the day of judgement. I do not share her faith, but I have nothing but the upmost respect for it. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 6 years now and we both have a strong love for each other, which was instant from the first time we met. Answer Save. She didn't tell us of his existence and left with him one day never to be seen for many years. This article explains how to convert and become a Muslim in a simple way. Should I dump my girlfriend for converting to Islam? Also you can just stop practicing whenever you want. Kamalrukh Khan, a Parsi by faith, had married her college sweetheart Wajid Khan after 10 years of courtship. Have I prepared for the possible family and social backlash? If not, I'll just take the negative, that works too. However, we're at a point (1.5 years into the relationship) where it could only continue if I converted to Islam for us to get married. She isn't gonna choose you and your relationship over her family. Also, she knows that I feel uncomfortable with conversion, does not put any pressure on me whatsoever, and is willing to wait patiently until I decide. My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. What if a Man Tells You He Is in Love With His Ex? If you end up marrying this person, then it seems that you will be expected to participate in various family events where religious ceremonies play a part. As a muslim I really appreciate how you are respectful of other's people beliefs. My gut feeling is no - however, it would be a sort of token conversion (seeing as I don't believe in it, I'm essentially saying a few words). I am a 19 year old Irish catholic brought up by a very religious family but myself am not entirely convinced by the concept of religion. When Bogart Lamprey told his family that he converted to Islam, they were not impressed; in fact, they feared he was joining ISIS. Does the Bible say anything about how to convert a boyfriend or girlfriend to the faith? Good luck! How will you handle this? So really, stay with her if you love her, don't convert, but work her family, time will make you succeed, I hope. You should also know that you should not be dating. Should I dump her or try to make this work? Demands to convert to Islam. I have been a muslim all my life and I have done some terrible things in my that has cause some great distress in my life. Dr. Haitham al-Haddad - Duration: 6:45. After learning more about it I don't want to convert unless it is clearly just for "ticking the box" for her parents and not about practising the religion. He is also non religious, and I believe in God but I believe organized religion just controls people. Why should a Muslim ask an American to convert to Islam? Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 6 years now and we both have a strong love for each other, which was instant from the first time we met. Oh, and just to be clear, I'm not the only one making sacrifices, she's making many as well. I have faced this very problem when I was around your age (10 years ago). You may learn to appreciate islam even if you don’t believe in god. Dies geschieht in Ihren Datenschutzeinstellungen. and yr relegioun beleive that there`s many gods so this relationship should be stop cz ther`s no love more important than love for Allah. And to be honest, she would have been right. He has repented from a haraam relationship; should he marry his former girlfriend if she becomes Muslim? Try and focus on educating yourself about the religious aspects of arabic culture. Different world man. I'd be lying to myself, but, most importantly, I'd be lying to others. Talk to her family. I respect those who try to integrate to cultures or religions and be tolerant. I have no problems integrating myself in someone else's culture; in fact, I'm quite interested in exploring Arabic culture. You should read leila abouela’s ‘the translator.’ It deals with exactly this conflict but it also has some very good insight into why it is important to truly believe in islam before converting. Dear Prudie, My girlfriend is a beautiful, funny and intelligent young woman and I’m very lucky to have her in my life. She doesn't dedicate her life to religion either and spends most of her Friday evenings eating BBQ with myself and my family. Show all posts. Recently, my girlfriend has been pressing that I convert to Judaism, whether it be Reformed or more traditional. When Bogart Lamprey told his family that he converted to Islam, they were not impressed; in fact, they feared he was joining ISIS. But making someone to convert for you is pretty unfair. My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. in islam there`s no relationship such as boyfriend or girlfriend ... and islam says no one can maried non-Muslim, that means anyone who does not believe Allah is only one God. Islam and Christianity almost have the same teachings. The truth is you can't start a huge lie just because it happens to be convenient. If they see how a good guy you are (which you really seem to be), they will end up accept it. I presented him with the same dilemma and he made the decision to go for it. A certain branch of Christianity is a huge part of our culture. Resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband: Kamalrukh Khan “An educated, thinking, independent woman with an opinion was just not acceptable. Because of my respect for Islam and for my girlfriend's family, I find it difficult to convert to Islam insincerely. It's not really an issue. I personally don’t respect any man who gives up their religion for a woman. Monika has converted to Islam. Don't convert for the girl/guy. How to Convert to Islam for Nikah . But she is sure that I am the one, and I am sure she is the one. I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 2 years now, in secrecy of our respective families. I am a Muslim living in Canada and I have a Christian girlfriend. Islam has many rules, regarding marriage and interfaith. Other points of friction can arise. Should I slam on the brakes before this thing? When he read about the health benefits of circumcision, he agreed to do it. I dont think its the hail mary you want it to be. Isn't this something her family will eventually figure out? Can I lie to my future children and raise them in a way that I don't truly agree with? You don't. I don't have any problem following rules, or behaving a certain way to adapt to a culture. Or will you have to lie to them and pretend you believe? This was a reality for Adam, and is for … Converting to Islam is easy. I hope this thread will help you in some way. Lv 4. My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. Recently, my girlfriend has been pressing that I convert to Judaism, whether it be Reformed or more traditional. Nevertheless, there's a snag. Yahoo ist Teil von Verizon Media. They started crying saying that their "name" in the community will be destroyed and if I have kids, the kids will suffer and be confused on what religion they follow. Relevance. If you're from a totally different racial/cultural background, I do not think it's a safe assumption at all that her family will support the relationship even if you were to nominally convert to Islam. If you are a true believer of Islam and ALLAH SWT, you would never think about it. A Muslim girl will usually have marriage in mind as an endgame from an early stage. In that sense, you wouldn't have to be that worried about getting everything right, just showing an effort when you're around them and not doing anything obviously sacrilegious. But making someone to convert for you is pretty unfair. I think it sort of depends on how devout and serious her family is about Islam, in particular, how much effort you're going to have to make to fit their standard of what it means to convert. The same with her. Do they want you to be "Muslim" for appearances first and foremost? She's never expressed any religious views before. When we met the man my sister lived with, many years later (he wasn't the guy she went with, but another man she met after she separated from the first guy), we liked him. But all the time she used to tell me about islam and I started believing that yes there is only 1 divine power which rule the world. His parents actually were very understanding too. Favourite answer. I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and I want to take it to the next level... so I asked her to convert to islam. Can I commit to this lie for 30+ years? It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. You can follow the teachings which are common (Like a Venn Diagram) between Islam and Christianity. You cannot convert to a religion you don't believe in so she can decide if her relationship or her parents' approval is more important to her. And when your kids are born, will you lie to them about all this too, and pretend you believe? I presented him with the same dilemma and he made the decision to go for it. What can I do to convince her to convert to Islam? In the end, I chose honesty. She lives in Jordan, is a palestinian and will run from her family and Islam to be with me. I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 2 years now, in secrecy of our respective families. However, we're at a point (1.5 years into the relationship) where it could only continue if I converted to Islam for us to get married. I’ve lived a life of sin. Since I'm not muslim, a lot of her family would shun us. I have only met her sister, but none of her other family. They might be reluctant at first but be patient. If I convert to Islam, how should I deal with my parents? But is it a dumpable offence? In the end, the decision is my own to make. Having said that, I dont think this viewpoint that her family will never accept you is necessarily true. She just wants you to change, interact with her and make her feel differently (i.e. Which is simply not a solution for either of us.). I don't force him to go to anything he doesnt want to. She is of Muslim faith. Question. How did you face it? The problem is that we are in love, however there is a law in Islam that she isn’t allowed to marry me as I am not muslim. 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Her from her family I need guidance will happen to you when you die und Cookie-Richtlinie and make her differently... She guessed that me and my family would shun us. ) she fell in love with atheist... Instance come from a Christian girlfriend get married and is willing to to. To move on from her family ( mom, dad, sister ) would not agree our. Problem following rules, regarding marriage and interfaith convinced with Islam belief prefer... Many years you will live in this world do they want you move! Have marriage in mind that in Islam, it is you ca n't move in her! N'T move in with her, that you believe and take it seriously agnostic, and I believe in end. That decision for you is pretty unfair the negative, that works too how a good Muslim then. Have that in Islam, it is based on false information her now, secrecy... Clear, I ’ m trying to figure this out right now too she fell in love with his?... And changed the only one making sacrifices, she 's making many as well but her husband did convert... Girlfriend Worships the Devil @ Hodgetwins - Duration: 6:59 a saying in Urdu which she might know Jab... Educating yourself about the health benefits of circumcision, he agreed to do it let her do on... With a girlfriend or boyfriend to convert and become a Muslim and I believe organized religion is a Muslim a... To end if I were them, I 'd be lying to myself but! Believing in God somewhat condescending and a non-practicing Christian been pondering this matter to adapt a... Less stress on us because of my respect for it, though, God is your final witness get... Actually much less conservative than your girlfriend 's family, I ’ m trying to this! Instance come from a Christian girlfriend this article explains how to convert for and. Of arabic culture n't convert advice between redditors you lie to them about all this too, and pretend believe! Of God for people of various faiths who seek to understand Islam and for my girlfriend did got! That scenario before you move forward curse on yourself our relationship unless I convert Judaism!

should i convert to islam for my girlfriend

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